


Universal Constant

by Fweeble



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Day 1, M/M, Tokyo Ghoul Week, no named character deaths, references to death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-12
Updated: 2014-10-12
Packaged: 2018-02-20 21:43:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,188
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2444234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fweeble/pseuds/Fweeble
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Five different ways Kaneki and Hide could have met and the one way they did.</p><p>Or:</p><p>It is a universal constant that Nagachika Hideyoshi will always find Kaneki Ken.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Universal Constant

**Author's Note:**

> Fool: Beginnings, first encounter between two or more characters
> 
> Thank you hidekaneween for beta'ing this! You made this much more accessible and readable! ; u; Thank you for being your magical starshine self and beta'ing whenever I need one. <3 <3 <3 All mistakes you still see are due to my own error. ; u;

They meet in the summer.

Kaneki is hiding from the harsh sun, shrinking further into the umbrella’s shade as time passes. He peers over his book, wonders why he is here, why he ever let himself get roped into joining a committee of all things. Shapely women in swim suits run across the pristine beach and lithe young men chase after them, muscles gleaming. Kaneki thinks of the pallid white skin beneath his shirt, the soft curve of his belly, and thinks he shouldn’t be here.

This is not where people like him belong.

He digs his toes into the warm sand, tries to tear his thoughts from the dark places they are treading. Even if he doesn’t belong here, he has his books. He has never needed beyond that, so he clings to the inked words on bone-white paper like they are his salvation. He throws himself into a world where he doesn’t exist and neither do his problems.

He reads. He reads until he looks up and the sun is setting, the towels and umbrellas his university classmates had brought gone. Left behind, again.

“I said, are you okay?”

Kaneki looks up, startled. Is that what broke his concentration? He raises his hand, tries to block out the glare of the setting sun. “I’m fine,” he says squinting up. “Just got caught up in my book.”

The other man squats down before him, smiling. “I was just a little worried, you know? Didn’t see you move, even after all your friends started packing up. The sun’s going down now and it’s going to start getting a little chilly, so I’d suggest you go home unless you came prepared.”

Long, tan limbs, sun bleached blond hair, a warm easy going smile –if Kaneki looked like this person, would things be different? His eyes catch on the gleaming chrome whistle, thinks, O _f course he’s a life guard, no wonder he came over. There’d be no other reason for him to care about me._

The lifeguard pauses, peers down at him more carefully, says, “Are you sure you’re okay? You look a bit out of it.”

“I’m fine, really,” Kaneki insists as he begins packing up. “No need to worry about me.”

“If you’re sure,” the blond says, uncertain. “But I think you should take this.” The blond tosses a tube at Kaneki. The brunette fails to catch it and fishes it out of the sand, ears burning. “It’s aloe. Your legs are bright red; you better put some of that on as soon as possible. And stay out of the bath tonight, you shouldn’t subject your sunburns to high heat.”

Kaneki looks down at his lobster legs, realizes with dreaded certainty that they’re going to peel tomorrow morning, and mutters, “Thank you.”

“No problem, no problem.” The lifeguard laughs. “Next time, though, put on some sunscreen when you come to the beach.”

“I don’t really do beaches,” Kaneki blurts out. “I-I mean, the beach is pretty, but it’s pretty out of my way…”

“Then you should try swimming next time you come. If you’re gonna make the commute down here you might as well experience what you came for, right? If you come on a Friday, I’ll even teach you how to surf.”

“Don’t you have...lifeguard duties to attend to?”

“Nah, I only work on the weekends. This is just a part-time thing. When I’m not in my skivvies, I’m a student at Kamii University.”

Kaneki studies the lifeguard more closely –imagines him with an orange headset hanging around his neck, a hoodie –“You sit next to me in Asian History.”

The blond grins. “Took you long enough, Ka-ne-ki-kuuuuuun~”

\--

Kaneki is hungry,  _so hungry.  
  
_ He’ll eat anything – _anything._

Maybe that mother and child, or perhaps the construction worker with large, rippling arms –or better yet, the two giggling teens by the alley, there’s just so much to choose from.

He is so close, he reaches out –

“Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey, there you are!” Someone shouts, throwing their arm around his neck, pulling them in close. “I’ve been looking all over for you, man! You made me wait  _forever_. We gotta hurry if we don’t want to miss the party.”  
  
Kaneki sputters, claws at the arm, digs teeth into the meat of the person’s arm, tears flesh.  _Disgusting_ , he thinks,  _this tastes disgusting_. He stumbles to keep pace, smells something sweet, like bananas just shy of overripe.  
  
He continues to gnaw at the arm until he finds himself surrounded by tall, tall buildings and chain link fences. “If you’re gonna eat,  _don’t_  do it public, man. This is the 20th Ward, there are rules here. Don’t do anything that’ll bring the Doves down on us.” His captor lets him go, points at a pair of shoes sticking out between two dumpsters and says, “You can have this guy. Think he OD’d on something.”  
  
“I’m not… I’m not gonna eat  _him_ ,” he cries. He claws at his face, hates his body for betraying him, for wanting to devour. “I’m not a monster, I’m not gonna eat a  _person_.”  
  
The ghoul squats down before him. “If you don’t eat him, you’re gonna end up eating someone else. I’m trying to help you out here, you seem wobbly on your feet and I bet you haven’t eaten in ages. But if you’re gonna cause a mess…” Kaneki’s eyes catch orange and gold curling behind the blond ghoul.  _A fox’s tail,_  he thinks as the other man’s eyes turn –black sclera and irises of blood. “Then I’m sorry, man. Rize’s already caused a big enough mess without a rogue ghoul snarfing on humans out in the open. It’s peaceful here, I don’t want that to change.”  
  
“I’m not a  _monster_  like you,” he insists, voice cracking, “I’m  _human_. I won’t  _eat_  another human!”  
  
“You smell quite a bit like a human,” the ghoul agrees. “But you don’t look quite human, do you?” He pushes Kaneki against chainlink, forearm firm against Kaneki’s sternum. “Let’s see what’s behind this eyepatch of yours…”  
  
Kaneki blinks back tears, “Stop…!”  
  
“What do you know, you look rather ghoul-like to me. I guess that makes you a  _monster_  too.”  
  
“I’m… I’m human…” God, he hungers, he feels it growing, gnawing, consuming.   
  
“Look… it’s as easy as this –do you want to live?”  
  
He has nothing to live for. No friends, no family. He should’ve died, should’ve been eaten alive by Rize. He should’ve been crushed to death by falling beams.  
  
“Yes,” he croaks, “ _I want to live_.”  
  
He doesn’t want his life to end like this. He doesn’t want to die in a dark, dingy alley like the poor man between the dumpsters.   
  
“Then it’s simple isn’t it?” The blond lets him down, walks over to the corpse, and tugs off an arm, “Eat.”  
  
Kaneki looks at the proffered arm, feels like this is the end of him. He can feel something clawing inside him, can hear Rize’s laughter getting louder as time passes. If he doesn’t eat, he’ll die, the dark thing inside him says, so eat. Eat, eat, eat, eat. Eat, or become the next fool to be eaten. Eat, and live on.  
  
But if he eats, he’ll die. The Kaneki Ken that is human, the one who goes to Kamii and studies Literature and eats hamburger steaks will die.  
  
No matter what he does, he’ll die.  
  
“Eat,” the ghoul urges.  
  
Kaneki takes the arm.  
  
“Good. I’m Nagachika Hideyoshi,” the ghoul digs in his pockets until he finds a pen and a receipt. “This is my number…This is the number for Anteiku. If you need help integrating, go to them for help. They’re in charge of the 20th ward.”  
  
“What’s your number for?”  
  
“For the Asian History notes you undoubtedly need seeing as you haven’t shown up for class in the past month and a half.”  
  
\--  
  
Kaneki counts the crinkled bills and coins, counts them again in the vain hope they will miraculously breed and multiply.  
  
Five hundred yen short.  
  
He carefully replaces the book on historical warfare and waits sullenly by the cash register for his turn.  
Maybe he should get a part time job after all. There are always people looking for waiters and cashiers, right?   
  
“You know, if you work here, you’ll get a discount.”  
  
“W-well, yes,” Kaneki fumbles. How long had he been standing in the middle of the aisle, staring into empty space? “But it’s not like there are any openings, right?”  
  
“You never know,” the employee says, wagging his finger. “You won’t know until you ask, right? My manager will be here in twenty minutes if you don’t mind waiting until then.” He plucks the book from its stack, points to an empty register. “Until then, I can check you out?”  
  
“T-thanks, but I can’t afford…”  
  
“It’s fine. You can use my employee discount this time. Just a secret between the two of us, okay?” The blond continues to chatter as he rings up Kaneki’s purchases. “The look on your face when you put that book back was like watching a puppy getting kicked. There’s no way I could let you leave without it.”  
  
Kaneki flushes. “Thank you...” He pauses, checking the name tag. “Nagachika-san.”  
  
“It’s fine, it’s fine,” Nagachika pauses expectantly.   
  
“Kaneki Ken.”  
  
“It’s fine, Kaneki-kun.”  
  
\--  
  
He wonders how he got here.  
  
He gasps, feels blood ooze with every beat of his heart, hears the sound of faraway sirens, and sees darkness. He is a broken doll, crushed beneath an uncaring god’s foot. He cries, wants to scream, feels his punctured lungs collapse in on themselves. He curses his luck, his life.   
  
All he wanted was someone to see him, to like what they saw.  
  
He thought Rize-san did. He thought his life was going to begin today.  
  
He’d hoped tonight was the beginning of everything.  
  
“Hey man, it’s okay, stay calm. Everything’ll be okay,” someone says from the abyss. Warm hands hold his firmly –he’s cold, so very cold. “I called an ambulance, just stay calm, okay?” He feels one hand try to stem his blood, hears that far away voice say, “I’m Nagachika Hideyoshi and I’m going to stay with you until help gets here. Just hang in there, okay? Don’t die on me.”  
  
Kaneki blinks tears away, clutches that kind hand.  
  
\--  
  
At fifty-eight, Kaneki is too old for new starts, for new beginnings.  
  
He has buried his wife, his children, fallen before their time. He has buried comrades, friends, with bloodied hands. He has buried everything dear, everything important. There is nothing left but the tears of an aging man, a lost soul, and grief.  
  
Kaneki Ken is too old for new starts, for new beginnings, too jaded to look for companionship. He imagines a quiet life, of weekly visits to coffee shops, quiet mornings at home. He yearns for the mundane and its sheen of permanence and stability. He waits for his turn.  
  
What he gets is a neighbor that knocks on his door every evening. What he has is a neighbor who drags him out every weekend. What he does is spend Sundays going to the movies, to beaches, to mountains, to parks, to tiny little cafés with his nosey neighbor.   
  
“Kaneki-san,” his neighbor says, “Have you ever thought about traveling? The world is so big, I feel like even if I live to a hundred I won’t have enough time to see everything. God, I can’t wait to retire.”  
  
Kaneki has never dreamed of what lies beyond the sparkling sea, has stopped dreaming ever since he has lost, and lost, and lost. All he has ever wanted was a place to belong, and for a while, he had it. He has no illusions about finding another. “No.”  
  
“Do you have any plans once you retire?” His neighbor turns upon him, bright and alive, says, “You should come with me.”  
  
And Kaneki, who wants nothing but peaceful days, replies, “Okay.”  
  
He looks at the blond man before him, feels his heart skip a beat, “Let’s do that, Nagachika.”  
  
\--  
  
Nagachika Hideyoshi is a loud boy.  
  
He squeals as he chases other kids across the courtyard, laughs uproariously when he falls, shouts when he could speak.   
  
He scares Kaneki, just a little.  
  
So Kaneki avoids the other boy, carefully navigates his routes to give the blond wide berth. He keeps his head down and continues on with his life. He does his best to pass by unnoticed, forgotten.  
  
A month into his studious avoidance of Nagachika, he finds himself with a face full of the other boy. The boy is just as raucous up close, and Kaneki thinks, still a little bit scary. He straightens, prepares for the inevitable teasing, and instead gets reassurance.  
  
The boy smiles at him with his straight, white teeth, his nose running, and asks, “So, do you want to be friends with me?”  
  
And Kaneki is so stunned, finds himself at a loss of words.  
  
“You don’t!?” the boy laments and Kaneki is already scrambling to reply.  
  
“N…Not that. I… want to.”  
  
“Really!? Alright!!”  
  
Kaneki smiles into his book.   
  
Nagachika might be loud, but he isn’t scary at all.


End file.
